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Would it be acceptable to use a micrometer at a known measurement (possibly based off a gauging block) lock it down and run a feeler blade through it to get a feel for how much resistance there should be when measuring?
That might work, but there are a number of variables that effect the feel, primarily lubrication and pre-load, the latter being more of an issue with ignition points.
I usually use two feeler guages, one to size and one either a size larger or smaller depending on the way i want the tolerances - it's very obvious when one slips through and the other doesn't.
One problem with just using a single 'guage, as you are aware of, is that some people will use considerable force on the guages, rather than a light drag. If you're doing roller tip rockers, it's generally advised to feel the drag sideways, as the oil film on the valve tip, and the roller's lack of resistance, can give a false felling of drag.